When Your Sister’s Neighbor’s Best Friend Really Sucks at His Job…
Hiring People You Know Can Be a Blessing—Or a Nightmare
Every small business owner has been there: you need to hire someone, and a friend, family member, or trusted connection says, “Hey, I know someone looking for a job!”
At first, it seems perfect—someone you “kind of know” comes recommended, and you trust the person vouching for them. What could go wrong?
Fast forward a few months, and you’re realizing that this hire is a disaster. They’re underperforming, your team is frustrated, and now you’re stuck in the awkward position of deciding what to do about it.
Firing them feels complicated because of the personal connection—but keeping them might be hurting your business more than you realize.
So, how do you handle it fairly, professionally, and without burning bridges? Here’s the balanced approach for small businesses navigating a bad hire with personal ties.
Acknowledge the Problem—Because It Won’t Fix Itself
It’s tempting to ignore the issue and hope things improve. But bad hires rarely magically become great employees—especially if no one is addressing their performance.
As a small business owner, you can’t afford to carry weak links. Every employee has an impact, and one bad hire can:
Slow down productivity—others have to pick up their slack
Create tension with your team—employees notice when someone isn’t pulling their weight.
Cost you money—mistakes, inefficiency, or customer dissatisfaction add up.
Before it gets worse, ask yourself:
If this person wasn’t connected to me in any way, would they still have a job?
Would I keep another employee if they had the same performance?
Is keeping them on hurting morale or causing resentment among my team?
If the answer is yes, it’s time to have a conversation.
Give Honest Feedback—Don’t Let Personal Ties Prevent Accountability
One of the biggest mistakes small business owners make with personal hires is not holding them to the same standards as everyone else.
Maybe you don’t want to upset the person who referred them.
Maybe you feel guilty because they really needed the job.
Maybe you just hate awkward conversations.
But if they’re not meeting expectations, your team will notice—and you’ll lose credibility as a leader.
How to Give Feedback Without Making It Personal
Be direct but professional. (“I want to talk about some areas where we need improvement.”)
Stick to the facts. (“We need you to complete tasks on time, but deadlines are consistently missed.”)
Set clear expectations. (“For this to work, I need you to improve in these specific areas by [timeline].”)
Frame it as an opportunity. (“I want to see you succeed here, but we need to see improvement.”)
If they improve? Great. If they don’t? It’s time to consider the next step.
If You Have to Let Them Go, Do It the Right Way
If things aren’t improving and their performance is hurting your business, you may have no choice but to part ways.
Yes, it’s awkward. But avoiding it makes things worse—for your team, your business, and even the employee who may be better off elsewhere.
How to Let Them Go Without Destroying the Relationship:
✔ Keep it professional, not emotional. ("We appreciate your effort, but this isn’t working out.")
✔ Avoid unnecessary details. (You don’t need a long breakdown—just a clear decision.)
✔ Be respectful and fair. (Offer to be a reference if they were reliable but just not a fit for the role.)
✔ Don’t make it personal. ("This is about what the business needs, not about you as a person.")
If you handle it maturely and professionally, most people will respect the decision long term—even if they don’t like it.
Protect Your Business from This Situation in the Future
If you’re running a small business, hiring people you know is sometimes inevitable. And when it works, it can be great! But to avoid repeating the same mistake, put some guardrails in place.
How to Avoid Hiring a Bad Personal Connection Again:
Have a hiring process, even for referrals. (Don’t skip interviews, references, or work history checks just because they “come recommended.”)
Make it clear they’ll be treated like any other employee. (They don’t get a free pass because of who they know.)
Be upfront about expectations from the start. (Job duties, performance standards, and workplace rules should be crystal clear.)
Have an exit strategy in case it doesn’t work out. (What’s your plan if things go sideways?)
A good hiring process prevents bad hires—no matter how they got the job.
A Small Business Is Still a Business
Hiring people you know can be a great thing—it can build loyalty, trust, and a strong company culture. But when it goes wrong, it can hurt your business more than it helps.
If someone isn’t a fit, you have to treat it like any other business decision.
Because in a small business, every employee matters. And keeping someone just because you know them isn’t just bad HR—it’s bad business.
So next time someone says, “Hey, I know someone looking for a job…”—think twice.
Your business deserves the best people for the job—not just the people you happen to know.
